Day #953

8:35 AM: Mrs. O’Leary is having her weekly call with her sister…

Well, that’s excellent. Now we really can have our Friday morning coffee talk!… So no surprise at all, Margaret tried to call me around 5:30 and I didn’t notice it until this morning… No surprise at all. And she just wants to know why we have to sign all this stuff… And of course I get this response and she was asking me all this questions and, of course, I had no idea myself, but I explained that Mother’s eight heirs all need to sign off on returning this one asset to the bank… Oh, right! Except himself, because he’s the lead authority on absolutely EVERYTHING.

When she added me to a joint checking account, that’s mine. That money is under my name and my name only. I’m under no legal obligation to give one red cent to anyone and that’s exactly what I’ll say if they put up a fuss.

Steve owes 500-something for the new pair of glasses I bought for him last fall. The new pair, and how many has he gone through since then? And then Jerry took the $1,000 when he had the issue with his car.

If Jim wants to be an ass about it, which of course he always chooses to be, guess what? I’ll keep her share.

Yeah, so I guess I gotta get the dust rag out and take out the cleaning stuff. I gotta start kickin some ass and takin some names.. We’ll see how far I get when we have our coffee clutch next Friday.

Day #937

9:03 AM: Grace is having issues connecting to Outlook on her computer. She asked me to submit an IT request on her behalf. Now, the new IT guy is at her desk trying to walk her through the issues…

IT Guy: Hi, how are you?

Grace: I’m good! Except for this technical issue!

IT Guy: Okay, let’s try logging in to the web portal.

Grace: Okay.


Grace: I just need you to tell me how to do that.

IT Guy: Oh. You don’t know?

Grace: Nope.

IT Guy: Okay, no one told you?

Grace: Well, maybe I do and I just don’t know it in those specific terms.

IT Guy: Okay, go to

Grace: M-I-C…

IT Guy: No. Not there. Put it up there.

Grace: I was putting it up there.

IT Guy: No, you were putting it in the search bar.

More conversations happen as the IT guy goes back and forth from Grace’s desk before he came back…

IT Guy: Okay, before you put your password in there, do me a favor. Open Notepad.

Grace: Open Notepad.

IT Guy: Yes.


IT Guy: Click Start, now type in “Notepad.” There you go. Now type in your new password… Okay, now copy and past it into the password field.

Grace: Wow! There it is!

IT Guy: Yeah, sometimes people are convinced they’re typing their password correctly, but they don’t realize there’s a mistake.

Grace: I guess I was just one letter off! Thank you!


Day #925

8:15 AM: It’s Friday morning, which means it’s time for Mrs. O’Leary’s weekly coffee chat with her sister…

What time is it Aunt Paula?!… I guess it’s about that time!… You know I’m happy too. It’s been too hot and too dry… So, what’s goin’ on?… Where was it at?… MMMMMM…

Did you hear that the State of Illinois is being expelled from the Powerball?!… YES… They’ve gone too long without a budget, so they can’t even make the payments… And you know what? GOOD. Too bad… I was gonna say. Drive to another participating state. Don’t buy ’em here in Illinois… My dreams have been dashed once and for all… Heh heh… If I were so inclined, I could send Kathy money every week to buy them up in Wisconsin… I don’t know how often she’d be willing to traipse into town for that…

You know, I was thinking about going over to get my hair cut. It’s only been like a month, but it’s growing like a weed!



Day #918

8:32 AM: Mrs. O’Leary’s phone rang and she answered with a joke…

What if I said you were to late???… Hahahaha…. That would be shattering, wouldn’t it?… Oh. My. Stars. She’s 27? Where does the time go?…

I read about one today with that Brian Cranston… He’s the one that was in that show Breaking Bad and I just loved him in that show. And I think that Jennifer Garner is in it too…

Then there’s another one, one of those spooky-scary-haunted movie that takes place in some spooky-scary-haunted woods. I gotta take a pass on that one… A movie with Sam Elliott? I don’t know anything about it.

It is Friday, Aunt Paula. And it’s payday, so I’m very happy about that. And it’s casual day here today too. We also have casual Fridays most days. That I also like very much…

Day #914

11:25 AM: Grace made a phone call.

Hi. My name is Grace and I’m calling for my husband. He had a prescription for Lyrica, which he got from Dr. Davis, who I understand is no longer with the clinic. He recently saw the new physician’s assistant, but she didn’t renew the prescription and he really needs it urgently because he’s starting to get the tingling in his feet.

“Honey, you better call up the doctor. I’m gettin’ the ol’ tingly foot again.” Continue reading

Day #902

8:05 AM: Roseanne Barr is taking some time off over the next week and told me this morning, “I woke up this morning and said ‘Please God just let me get through whatever bullshit I have to get through to have these days off.’ And because I’m taking time off, that means I only have to deal with Asshole for three more days.”

Her boss’s last day is June 2 and she is ready for him to leave…

“I almost want to tell him on his last day, ‘You think you’re so great and that everyone loves you, but you’re not my friend. I don’t want to keep in touch after you leave. You and I will never have anything to do with each other after this.'”  Continue reading