Day #925

8:15 AM: It’s Friday morning, which means it’s time for Mrs. O’Leary’s weekly coffee chat with her sister…

What time is it Aunt Paula?!… I guess it’s about that time!… You know I’m happy too. It’s been too hot and too dry… So, what’s goin’ on?… Where was it at?… MMMMMM…

Did you hear that the State of Illinois is being expelled from the Powerball?!… YES… They’ve gone too long without a budget, so they can’t even make the payments… And you know what? GOOD. Too bad… I was gonna say. Drive to another participating state. Don’t buy ’em here in Illinois… My dreams have been dashed once and for all… Heh heh… If I were so inclined, I could send Kathy money every week to buy them up in Wisconsin… I don’t know how often she’d be willing to traipse into town for that…

You know, I was thinking about going over to get my hair cut. It’s only been like a month, but it’s growing like a weed!

 

 

Day #918

8:32 AM: Mrs. O’Leary’s phone rang and she answered with a joke…

What if I said you were to late???… Hahahaha…. That would be shattering, wouldn’t it?… Oh. My. Stars. She’s 27? Where does the time go?…

I read about one today with that Brian Cranston… He’s the one that was in that show Breaking Bad and I just loved him in that show. And I think that Jennifer Garner is in it too…

Then there’s another one, one of those spooky-scary-haunted movie that takes place in some spooky-scary-haunted woods. I gotta take a pass on that one… A movie with Sam Elliott? I don’t know anything about it.

It is Friday, Aunt Paula. And it’s payday, so I’m very happy about that. And it’s casual day here today too. We also have casual Fridays most days. That I also like very much…

Day #914

11:25 AM: Grace made a phone call.

Hi. My name is Grace and I’m calling for my husband. He had a prescription for Lyrica, which he got from Dr. Davis, who I understand is no longer with the clinic. He recently saw the new physician’s assistant, but she didn’t renew the prescription and he really needs it urgently because he’s starting to get the tingling in his feet.

“Honey, you better call up the doctor. I’m gettin’ the ol’ tingly foot again.” Continue reading

Day #902

8:05 AM: Roseanne Barr is taking some time off over the next week and told me this morning, “I woke up this morning and said ‘Please God just let me get through whatever bullshit I have to get through to have these days off.’ And because I’m taking time off, that means I only have to deal with Asshole for three more days.”

Her boss’s last day is June 2 and she is ready for him to leave…

“I almost want to tell him on his last day, ‘You think you’re so great and that everyone loves you, but you’re not my friend. I don’t want to keep in touch after you leave. You and I will never have anything to do with each other after this.'”  Continue reading

Day #901

1:54 PM: Grace answered her cell phone at her desk…

Hi!… Oh, are we?… Okay, there’s none in the basement?… Alright, well, Friday is pay day, so we can go stock up on some then. How does that sound?… Okay, let’s talk about it when I get home, okay?

Grace’s adult sons who still live with her must be out of Pizza Rolls.  Continue reading

Day #890

8:17 AM: Phyllis walked in with some news.

Phyllis: I was at Peet’s coffee and they’re handing out samples. So I go to see what they’re handing out and it’s little pieces of waffles… with CHICKEN. It was some kind of waffle and chicken TOGETHER.

Me: Chicken and waffles?

Phyllis: Yeah! That was it.

Grace [sounding confused, like she’s waiting for the punch line]: Mhmm…?  Continue reading