8:25 AM: Phyllis came out of the restroom and said aloud…
Phyllis: Is the lady’s room issue fixed?
Grace: Was there an issue?! See?! I’m never in the poop loop! No one tells me about these things!
Phyllis: Well, there was a sign on one of the doors yesterday…
Grace: I didn’t even notice that!
Phyllis: And the sink’s clogged again.
Grace: Well, did you notice they seem to have new paper towels? They seem nicer. More absorbent.
I hope Grace is never included in the “poop loop.”
8:41 AM: Mrs. O’Leary got a phone call from her sister and turned her chair around to face away from her desk and towards my cubicle. It’s gonna be a long one…
Hello? Oh my gosh! It’s the Aunt Paula show! Starrrrrrrring…. Aunt Paula!
How was your trip to Lake Geneva last weekend?… Oh, ok. And does he still have the snow removal service, or did he sell that?… So what’s he doin’ now?…
Well, he came out to play Driving Miss Daisy last weekend, so we ran around and you know he likes to get his haircut down there at that barbershop, so he was plannin’ to get his hair cut, but then he decided he had some things he wanted to do at home. Because we were done with my errands by about 9:30, so he just said he’d get his hair cut this weekend. And I said, “Well, that works perfect for me because my dry cleaning that we just dropped off should be ready around then if you don’t mind swinging by to pick me up and we can pick up that dry cleaning.”… Oh, by the way, did you get your chicken salad?… Absolutely… Yep. A nice little treat for you there, Aunt Pat… Yep… Sure.
You know, about his birthday… I could do one, but I don’t think I could do both. You know that place we stayed last year was nice, but it was like 100 bucks a night. And I just can’t do that. I almost rather that I not go and just give him the money. You know? Pat, I cannot do both… He mentioned this to me a few months ago and I said, “Listen, your birthday is a few months away. I’m gonna have to think about it.”
You know, since Mother died, our sister Rita is one of the ones who wrote me off completely. You know the last time I saw or spoke to Rita? At your house for Valentine’s Day. Occasionally, I’ll send her a text message and you know – She’ll respond. Or whatever. But I don’t talk to her. She doesn’t call me… Whatever. Screw it.
You know, I don’t call her. It wouldn’t have killed her one time this winter to call me and ask me if I need to be driven around to run some errands. Luckily, with this winter being as mild as it was, I was mostly able to get around all on my own. But even dropping off dry cleaning, you know? Stan was kind enough to do that, but I always compensate him. Always. I know how strapped for cash he is, so I think that’s important. But Rita – God forbid I ever ask her for a favor. So, you know. I don’t know what to do. Have a nice life, Rita….. Right, and if that wasn’t it, it would be something else. She just doesn’t want to put the effort forth… Well, then I think you made the right decision to not make the road trip this week…
Or the other situation. Rita, you better hope nothing ever happens to you because Johnny has never lifted a finger for anyone. With both of his parents when they were ill, he didn’t do a thing. He left that to his sisters. So she better hope nothing happens. If so, good luck… Frankly, Aunt Paula, it’s just the attitude…
Hon, you know what? Actually, tomorrow is kind of booked for me. I think Sunday I’m gonna have a color-my-hair-and-run-over-and-get-my-hair-cut kind of day.
Actually, tomorrow, I don’t know if Stan is going to be able to make it up… But Saturday, I have an appointment with a guy from the bank. They want to send an appraiser out to do an appraisal of Mom’s unit… I told him I can make myself available, but I’d rather it be for a Saturday or Sunday so he could come when I’m off of work… Honestly, I don’t know.
So, anyhow, that’s about it for me Aunt Paula… Yeah, I’ve got to. I’ve got to get over there Sunday to get this blasted hair cut… Oh my god you’re kidding… Well. Good luck…
The call ended at 9:27.
40 Square Feet of Hell 