Day #869

11:36 AM: Mrs. O’Leary is on the phone with her sister…

You know, I went grocery shopping, did my laundry, got some cleaning done. That was my Easter. I just really needed a crash and burn weekend.

If you never see another movie again, “The Straight Story” is one you should see. It’s a keeper. It’s a total keeper. Really, this one, your daughter might even like it. But then again, she’s bound to never see a movie if I’m the one recommending it to her…

Anyway, the reason I talked to Stan is because he’s going to come do a few errands down on the south side. I’m paying him for gas. Paying him for his services. You know, if I have a little bit of extra cash, maybe I’ll go to Swanson’s and get him a half a pound of his favorite ham salad… No, he’s actually partial to the ham salad… Oh, you like the chicken salad?… Well, you never know, I might treat you to the chicken salad and him to the ham salad… How about that?… Would you like a half a pound or a pound?

Mrs. O’Leary is offering to pay for a half a pound of ham salad for her “good-for-nothing” brother. Her generosity knows no bounds.


12:00 PM: Carson Kressley stood up, looked out the window and said…

Carson Kressley: Did you know it was raining out there?

Phyllis: Nope.

Carson Kressley: Yeah. People are walking around with umbrellas.

Phyllis: Hmm.

Carson Kressley: Who knew?!

Well, the forecast called for isolated thunderstorms today, so it doesn’t take a fucking meteorologist to figure out we may be in for some rain today.

 

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