Day #820

8:38 AM: Roseanne Barr took a personal day yesterday. She had been chatting with friends for the past 40 minutes, but just came back to her desk and asked…

Roseanne Barr: Was Asshole here at my desk all day yesterday?

She’s referring to her boss, who no one likes. He’s also very tall.

Me: No, I didn’t notice him here all day.

Roseanne Barr: Well, I came back today and my chair was all the way up because of course he can’t put it back. Fuckin’ ass.

Me: Yeah, he must have come and gone because I didn’t notice him sitting here for too long.

Roseanne Barr: Well, I’m surprised he didn’t say anything to you when he came over, being the arrogant asshole he is.

Me: He didn’t say a word. Must have been busy or distracted.

Roseanne Barr: Well, he’s already pissed me off so much today. I hope I don’t have to see his face.

One day, she’s going to reach up to his face and smack him. I hope I’m here for it.

10:35 AM: Carson Kressley opened his blinds about 10 minutes ago, but Phyllis did not. He was clearly bothered by her blinds being closed…

Carson Kressley: We’re seeing some sun now…

Phyllis: Oh, that’s right! Maybe we should welcome it in.

Carson Kressley: Yes, I think that’s a good idea.

She then stood up and raised her blinds.

Carson Kressley: Ahhh, that’s better!

Phyllis: Well, now the sun seems to be bouncing off the building next door so we’re getting a little more in our windows.

Carson Kressley: We are getting closer to spring now!

3:57 PM: We had a team meeting this afternoon. Carson Kressley was talking about an article he wanted to include in his magazine…

Carson Kressley: Well, I think after trying for two years, I might finally get approval for an article about cannabis and how it impacts real estate.

Phyllis: Oh, wow! They wouldn’t let me put an article about marijuana in my journal.

Carson Kressley: I also heard from [Creepy Old Librarian] that there is a strong interest in the real estate market for strip clubs.

Gordon Ramsay: Wow, maybe we could do a whole series on people’s vices.

Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin: That’s right! Strip clubs, marijuana… Maybe even breweries.

Me: Or casinos could be a good one.

Phyllis: Distilleries.

Grace: Crackhouses.

The room fell into silence until Carson Kressley changed the subject.





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