Day #803

8:37 AM: Grace was fiddling with things on her desk when the voice of Jake Tapper started playing loudly from her cell phone. It took her about 5 seconds to get it turned off.

10:56 AM: Phyllis is on the phone and just said, “I’m not looking forward to the Africans coming here and knocking everything off the table. The countries are so corrupt it’s like impossible to get them a book.” 

2:32 PM: The creepy old librarian man saw me in the hall and asked…

Do you want to adopt a six-year-old? He’s potty-trained, for the most part. Very talkative. Speaks four languages! He’s a six-year-old, but with the litigation prowess of a seasoned Supreme Court lawyer… I now understand crimes of passion.

He was talking about his husband and it makes me so uncomfortable. Every time.

3:40 PM: Mrs. O’Leary made a phone call…

Mark? Hi. I have to ask you something. Was Rosie really upset when we left Connie’s on Saturday night? Did it seem like that to you? She got up so abruptly to put her coat on and I’m like “What the hell?”… Is it because what Meagan was saying?…

Then she said, “Hello? Mark? Are you there?” and hung up the phone. When the phone rang again…

Hi! I don’t know what happened! We got cut off. Oh, for cryin out loud! Oh, for Pete’s sake!…

I couldn’t believe when she told me that. That was a bombshell. I was absolutely dumbfounded. Could. Not. Believe. That. I’m sure he had an earful. Apparently they went to counseling for a while. You know, she said, “He told me he doesn’t love me anymore. I want a divorce” and yadda yadda. Given her physical condition, how can you leave her all alone? What if she has another fall? I don’t care how bad things have gotten. How can you leave her? That’s what gets me more than anything… Mark, I don’t know either. I don’t know anything….

Well, you know what? It’s about that time for me too. About time to say Ah-dee-yose and get on the road. Okay, yep. Talk to you later, hun. Bye!

Don’t you just hate when you get stuck at work late because you had to make a 30-minute personal phone call?

4:16 PM: Nancy is talking to Carson Kressley and recounting every detail of Mrs. O’Leary’s saga from Day #800. Apparently I’m not the only one listening.


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