8:25 AM: Mrs. O’Leary is trying to activate a new credit card. What should have been a quick phone call has turned into quite the saga…
Sir. SIR… That’s my billing address… Yes it is… Yes it is… That’s the only one I’ve ever had… No, I’m not going online…
She’s sitting in front of her computer.
No. Well, I don’t know what to tell ya. I just want to call and confirm that I did receive my new card… No. I’m not online right now… Sir, I haven’t had another address in like 12 years, okay? My billing address has been the same for the last 12 years. I shouldn’t have to go back any further than that… Mhmm. Right… I’m sorry, what?!… WHAT OTHER ADDRESS ARE YOU SHOWING? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ADDRESS YOU HAVE… But you won’t tell me. Of course you won’t… Do you have one on Bail avenue?.. I don’t even remember the address …
She then listed the exact address where she hasn’t lived for 12 years.
Well, I haven’t lived there for like 12 years, sir! I don’t know what else I can give you… Okay, well I’ll pull up my Amazon account right now. Where do I go to check my address?… Okay, I’m in there now. It says Orders, Amazon Wallet, Settings… Right. I have that up now… Okay, under settings? What did you say? Manage what?!… Yes I diiiiid… Okay, I’m in there now… I’m seeing my address. The one I gave you… Nope. just that one. My email address associated with the account is…
She then gave her work email address. Well then…
DEFAULT SETTING AND 1-CLICK ADDRESS. IT’S ALL THE ADDRESS I GAVE YOU. Well, down at the bottom, it says “Enter a new address.”… WELL IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT IT IS, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO CORRECT THAT BECAUSE MY BILLING ADDRESS HAS BEEN THE SAME FOR 12 YEARS. I don’t understand why you can’t see the billing address, which is what I see coming up correctly here on my screen.
Manage address book? Yes, I’m seeing the same one that I’ve given you 10 times now. Is there someone else I can talk to? This is taking to long. You keep saying that’s not the billing address, but I don’t know what billing address you could be referring to because I don’t have another one. I’ve been on the phone with you for almost 20 minutes. Can I speak to a manager or a supervisor please because this is taking up way too much of my time.
Now it’s silent while we wait for a manager.
Hello… I beg your pardon? My name is Mrs. O’Leary. No. Not on this… I just want to confirm receipt of my new card. I ran into some big problem that the individual that I’ve been talking to can’t see the address that I’ve had for 12 years. The address is… I didn’t just apply for it. IT WAS RENEWED! It’s a Amazon Visa card from Chase…. UGH [Lists her address again]. I HAD A DIFFERENT SHIPPING ADDRESS FOR A WHILE but he keeps telling me my BILLING address was wrong. I haven’t had a different billing address… Yes… AMAZON REWARDS VISA SIGNATURE CARD… NO! It told me I had to call to verify that I received my new card. That’s all.
Okay, which email address are you confirming?… Yes. Correct… OKAY SHIPPING OR BILLING?! Well, my billing address is the same as it always is. ARE WE DONE HERE?!
She slammed the phone and is now probably going to go outside for three back-to-back cigarettes.
8:49 AM: I made the mistake of looking in Mrs. O’Leary’s direction after she hung up the phone, so she took the opportunity to vent to me…
Mrs. O’Leary: Did you hear any of that?
Me: A little bit of it.
Mrs. O’Leary: I mean, what the fuck? They want me to confirm my billing address and I gave it to them, but they’re telling me that’s not it. But they can’t tell me the address they have of course.
Me: Right because they want you to confirm your identity.
Mrs. O’Leary: Yeah, but I was on the phone with them for 30 minutes and they’re telling me that’s not my address. It’s fucking ridiculous. I just hung up on them.
Me: That stuff is always a pain to deal with.
Mrs. O’Leary: You know, I’ve been a customer of theirs for a long time. Why can’t I just confirm my card and be on with it? But it’s Chase bank, so you know how that goes…
Not really sure what she was getting at, but she walked away after what she was sure to make a big splash in my mind.
2:14 PM: There’s a tall unidentified man in our office. He’s wearing a suit, so I assume he’s meeting with someone. I was in the kitchen refilling my water bottle when he walked in, blindly walked around the room a few times, and then stopped at the counter. He took a Lysol wipe from the large container that says “Surfaces only. Not for hands” and proceeded to use it like a wet nap on his hands.
3:30 PM: Mrs. O’Leary and Roseanne Barr were talking as they walked back from the kitchen. Mrs. O’Leary was just getting to her desk when she realized she was getting a phone call and yelled, “Who is calling me at this hour?! I mean it!”