Day #769

8:20 AM: Grace just walked in and whispered “Good morning” to me and Phyllis so Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin couldn’t hear how late she was arriving.

8:28 AM: Grace came out of the bathroom with her makeup bag. Now that she’s freshened up, she’s unpacking the many bags she brought with her. Hasn’t even turned her computer on. 

2:52 PM: In what is, perhaps, the most exciting thing I’ve seen in my 769 days here, I just sat down at my desk and saw Grace watching a video with her headphones in. I looked closely at the title and then searched for it….

untitledFrom the MathAntics company website:

We know that many students struggle with math and that many teachers and parents need better tools to help students succeed. Our goal is to provide simple and engaging math resources that make learning math more fun for students of all ages.

Earlier this morning, I noticed she had a website open and the title was something like “Calculate Percent Change.”

It seems Grace has been trying to decode elementary school math all day.

4:29 PM: Grace’s quest for knowledge continues. She has now moved on to this video


Just look at his eyes. They’re saying “You should have paid attention in school.”

5:08 PM: Carson Kressley and I were in a meeting earlier today with a few people from other departments, including a new girl who started today…

Carson Kressley: Who was that sitting across the table from you in our meeting today?

Me: The girl who started today? She sits right there.

Carson Kressley: I’m sorry, who is she?

Me: She started today. It was announced in the internal newsletter that I send out every Monday.

Carson Kressley: Oh. What was her name?

Me: Alyssa.

Carson Kressley: Oh okay. I didn’t read the newsletter. I just skimmed it to make sure that the content I submitted to be included was actually included.

Me: Oh, okay.

Carson Kressley: I’m sorry. You said her name is Rebecca?

Me: No. Alyssa.

Carson Kressley: Alyssa. Alright. Well, I’m sure I’ll end up calling her Rebecca from now on.

Me: [Disgruntled fake laughter]

Worth noting: Alyssa is 24 years old and was sitting at this 1 PM meeting drinking a Sugar-Free Red Bull. If you’re four hours into this experience and you already need a Red Bull, it’s gonna be a long employment for you, honey.



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