10:35 AM: Mrs. O’Leary answered the phone…
Welcome home! Yesterday, right?… I’m fine… How are kitty cats?… Are they?… Fabulous… Just wanted to say welcome home. Welcome back to the frigid cold…
I was so sick last weekend. I sat in bed for a while… We went to this place called Pots for the chicken and the Italian beef and the mostaccioli. I’ve been there every year. I couldn’t go to sleep and I had to wake up early and I’m supposed to make an appetizer to bring over there, so I was planning to make my spinach and artichoke dip, but I was just in bed and couldn’t sleep. I thought maybe a shower will perk me up. That didn’t help. So then I figured I’d try laying down for a bit, and then that didn’t help, so I thought well, that’s about it for me. So I was off Monday luckily because I didn’t have to go in to work the next day.
We went to the picture show on New Year’s Eve. Absolutely. We did a double feature. Mark came to see Sing. Roxy came too because she wanted to see La La Land. I didn’t care for it at all. Roxy really liked it. I’ll tell you I spent many a New Year’s Eve watching the kids and watching Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers marathons. Those two be compared to them is just… They just can’t dance. They can’t sing. Their steps were very in sync, but the dancing was just nothing to compare… No style, no flare, no elegance, whatsoever. I didn’t find their characters or the story interesting. Now, a lot of people are loving it. Roxy really loved it. She really liked it.
We also did see Sing, which was pure entertainment. That was a fun movie to watch. Do you know who Seth McFarlane is? My god can that guy sing. I had no idea. He has a beautiful singing voice! It’s a really fun movie. It’s pure entertainment. So yeah, that was New Year’s.
The IT Director came over to talk to one of his team members, so now she’s talking quietly in the phone. I’ve never heard her speak quietly before, but it’s apparently possible.
11:01 AM: Phyllis has learned something new…
Phyllis: There’s this story on the news about people wearing virtual reality on a flight. So you can sit next to someone for four hours and never even see them.
Carson Kressley: That’s actually a really good idea! That way your screen is up close to your face and you don’t bother other people.
Phyllis: Does virtual reality have headphones or something?
Carson Kressley: Well, I assume you would plug the headphones into your phone.
Phyllis: Okay, so you’d be on a plane, but it could look and sound like you’re on a beach.
Carson Kressley: Or watching a movie or playing a game or something. This is a great idea!
Carson Kressley will go to great lengths to avoid interacting with other human beings. I bet he flies coach and it secretly eats away at him.
11:03 AM: The IT Director left, so now Mrs. O’Leary is back to her regularly-scheduled volume. She’s still on the same call and has now come full circle back to the movie conversation…
No! Roxy and I saw Sing first and that one started shortly after 1. Then the La La Land didn’t start until like 4:30! They advertise on Tuesdays, it’s $4 a ticket… I know! The concession stand stuff costs more than the price of the ticket!…
Well… I’m glad you guys had a good time… So anyhow, okay dear… Okay. That would be lovely… Alrighty!… Okie doke… Un hunh… Okay… See ya, bye!
4:12 PM: Due to unforeseen circumstances, Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin had to cancel our annual reviews, which were scheduled for tomorrow and Thursday. I was discussing the issue with Phyllis when Grace chuckled out loud and said…
I assume you guys are talking about our reviews being canceled? Yeah, I just got mine too! Of course, with my employment history, when your review is canceled, you start to wonder, “Hmmmm… Does that mean I’m going to be let go?” But if yours were also canceled, that means I shouldn’t read too much into it.
That’s Grace’s problem she never reads “too much into” anything. When people say, “No, you’re terrible at your job and you shouldn’t be here,” it’s like water off a duck’s back.
4:32 PM: The IT Director is talking to another colleague across the office and told her, “Don’t slit your wrists, Jess. But if you do, at least do it outside so we don’t have to see it.”
Just a quick little suicide joke to wrap up the day.