Day #738

8:17 AM: Phyllis walked in slowly, weighed down by the sheer mass of all the layers she’s wearing today. Someone told her, “We made it.” as she walked past. Phyllis responded, “Yes. Now it’ll just take five minutes to get all the layers off.”

THIS JUST IN: Chicago is sometimes cold.

10:49 AM: I crossed paths with a nice old lady in the hallway. She waved a Ziploc bag full of popcorn at me and said “There’s popcorn in the kitchen!”

I went to the kitchen to refill my water bottle. There is, indeed a large bucket of popcorn. While I was in there, a woman walked in wearing black dress pants tucked into her tall white, furry boots. Our dress code is business casual. She hunted through every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen looking for a Ziploc bag, but couldn’t find one. She went to Roseanne Barr’s desk to take a bag from her stash.

I then walked back to my desk and delivered the news of the popcorn to my team. Phyllis, Grace and Carson Kressley released a collective gasp.

Phyllis: What kind is it? The three flavors in one tin?

Me: No, it’s the cheese and caramel mixed together.

She gasped as she wobbled away in a hurry. Carson Kressley followed up by asking how much was left in the tin to determine whether he needed to leave with the quickness.

Phyllis came back and Carson Kressley hadn’t left yet.

Carson Kressley: Is there plenty left?

Phyllis: Probably two-thirds of the tin are left.

Carson Kressley: Okay, good.

Phyllis: Popcorn is one of my top five foods, so I had to get some.

Carson Kressley: Did you bring your own dish?

Phyllis: Yes. Some people are bringing in Ziplocs.

I heard Carson Kressley opening and closing multiple desk drawers before he pulled out bowl and hurried off to the kitchen.

He came back and said, “I forgot this is chocolate and popcorn time of year!”

He’s excited that he’ll be able to take in some calories other than those provided by his tuna and string cheese.

11:08 AM: Carson Kressley said, “I’m not going to be able to eat lunch now. I ate a little too much popcorn I think.” Yeah right. If I wait 20 minutes and say “Free sandwiches in the kitchen!” he’ll come back with a face full of chicken salad.


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