8:39 AM: Carson Kressley is back from a week-long European vacation. Phyllis and Grace greeted him cheerfully. I said nothing…
Phyllis: Welcome back!
Carson Kressley: Wish I could say it’s good to be back, but…
Phyllis: Well, we’re all happy to see you.
Don’t you put words in my mouth, bitch.
Carson Kressley [looking around]: Thanks… I… Missed…
Phyllis: Does your body even know what time it is?
Carson Kressley: I’m still kind of figuring it out. I was basically awake for 22 hours, so I am struggling to even put full sentences together.
Go back to Europe.
12:42 PM: Grace writes some stories for our weekly newsletter, which Carson Kressley controls…
Carson Kressley: Grace, I assume we won’t have an entry on our volunteers of the month?
Carson Kressley: Well, those are always released on the first Wednesday of the month, so I assume there won’t be any since you didn’t give me any?
Grace: Hmmmm. Let me see here. The first Wednesday. Today’s the 7th… Okay… So they would have come out on the 2nd…. Hmmm… Nope. I guess not!
Carson Kressley: Ok, because Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin told me you’d be giving me a story about our volunteer of the month for this week’s newsletter…
Grace: Well, that’s funny because I don’t see any here. I know I didn’t do one.
Carson Kressley: Ok, I guess he was wrong in his email.
Grace: Oh! You know what? I missed that portion of his email. I just skipped right over it. I’ll get that to you shortly!
Grace is that kid who has chocolate all over her face, hands and clothes, but insists that she didn’t have any cookies.