Day #686

8:03 AM: I walked in to Mrs. O’Leary and Roseanne Barr are shouting across the aisle to each other, with complete disregard for their neighbors…

Roseanne Barr: So you got the refrigerator?

Mrs. O’Leary: Yeah. It’s a top-and bottom, though. Not a side-by-side. So you’ve got the freezer on top and the refrigerator on bottom.

Roseanne Barr: Ok, yeah.

Because she’s seen a fucking refrigerator before…

Mrs. O’Leary: And I got the white. Because the stainless steel was not just one hundred, but hun-dred-s more than the white. So I just went with the white because I’m like “Ya know what? Screw it.”

Roseanne Barr: Well, at least you’ve got a working refrigerator now!

Mrs. O’Leary: Yeah. At least I’ve got that going for me. I also watched one of the stupidest movies I think I’ve ever seen in my life.

Roseanne Barr: What was it?

Mrs. O’Leary: Have you ever seen that Silver Linings Playbook?

Roseanne Barr: Yeah.

Mrs. O’Leary: What was so great about this movie?

Roseanne Barr: I think it was up for an Academy award.

Mrs. O’Leary: She did. And I’m like WHY?! I didn’t think it was anything to write home about.

Mrs. O’Leary must watch movies like Statler and Waldorf. “What is this garbage? Why am I watching this crap? Who the hell gave her an Oscar for this?”

12:17 PM: Phyllis got some inside scoop…

Phyllis: Carson Kressley?

Carson Kressley: Yes?

Phyllis: Apparently there are breakfast pastries in the kitchen?

Carson Kressley: No, I just looked!

Phyllis: Well, I got an email from my friend who was just in the kitchen and she saw some things.

Carson Kressley: JUST NOW?!

Phyllis: Yes, apparently.

Carson Kressley: Could they have been put there in the last five minutes?

Phyllis: Maybe. I’m not sure when they were brought there, but she said there are pastries.

Carson Kressley: Well, I’ll go look now. I need to refresh my tea anyway.

This is a recurring thing. He feels judged for sprinting to the kitchen for pastries, so he uses his tea for cover.

12:19 PM: Update to the pastry situation…

Carson Kressley: It was a smaaaaall tray. And there was someone standing in front of it.

Phyllis: So you didn’t get anything?

Carson Kressley: No, someone was standing in front of it. But there may be something left if you want.

Phyllis: No, whatever is there probably won’t go well with my lunch.

I don’t care what the hell I’ve got for lunch. If I see a pastry I want, it’s mine. Screw whatever I’ll be eating for lunch.

1:55 PM: Grace just listened to a voicemail aloud, on speakerphone.


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