Day #675

8:16 AM: Mrs. O’Leary walked into Roseanne Barr’s cubicle and thrust a copy of Better Homes and Gardens on her desk…

Mrs. O’Leary: Roseanne, would you like this?

Roseanne Barr: Sure. I love these magazines. I like the recipes.

Mrs. O’Leary: Well, you can have it.

Roseanne Barr: Ok, thank you. Was this your mother’s subscription?

Mrs. O’Leary: Yes. They. Won’t. Stop. Sending. Them. Month after month,. Do you know who many times I’ve called? How many time’s I’ve sent them letters? What do I have to do to get them to stop?? SHE’S DEAD!

Roseanne Barr: Maybe she paid for a multi-year subscription and they’ll keep mailing it until that’s up?

Mrs. O’Leary: I don’t know. I call them and call them and nothing changes. I keep getting this goddamn things in the mail. You should have heard me on the phone with Food Network. They really gave me a lot of crap. Ugh. This has just been such a fucking disaster.

Roseanne Barr: Well, thank you for this! I do really like these magazines, so if they keep coming, I’ll take them off your hands.

Mrs. O’Leary must have woken up on the wrong side of her twin-size bed today.

8:30 AM: Mrs. O’Leary is away from her desk, but her phone is ringing. Crossing my fingers it’s her aunt so I can get listen in as she besmirches the rest of her family one-by-one.

8:42 AM: Grace is on vacation in Canada. Her out of office notification says she’d be returning to the office Oct. 5 (yesterday), when in fact, she won’t be returning to the office until Oct. 10. This doesn’t matter, of course, because no one would ever email Grace with anything pressing.

10:03 AM: Carson Kressley and Phyllis are having an in-depth discussion about shiplap, inspired by HGTV’s Fixer Upper. They are both fans, which is great because Carson Kressley is the epitome of style and taste. Good to know Chip and Joanna are in Carson Kressley’s good graces.

12:50 PM: Carson Kressley randomly said out loud, “I love how, with everything going on in the world, creepy clowns are the main headline in the news.”


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