Day #673

9:03 AM: I’ve actually got a good bit on my plate today (but one must always make time to blog). I had a meeting with Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin scheduled at 11 a.m. Knowing I have a lot on my plate, he came over to tell me…

“I know you’ve got a lot to get done this morning. If you’d like to move our meeting back to this afternoon, I can move some things around.”

Move some things around? I checked his calendar. The next scheduled meeting on his calendar is at 8:30 a.m. on Monday, Oct. 10. Six days from now. How kind of him to offer to “move some things around.”

9:25 AM: The hallway to the men’s room is closed so it can be repainted. The door is marked off with Caution tape so no one enters…

Phyllis: Maybe we should leave the Caution tape up and it can be our Halloween decorations for the office.

Carson Kressley: That might be a little too long to go without access to the men’s room. Although the Caution tape may be more appropriate for the women’s room, based on what I hear…

Phyllis: Oh goodness. I went in there this morning and it looks like someone tried to peel the cover off the toilet paper holder. It looks like they used their fingernails to peel off that coating that looks like stainless steel.

Carson Kressley: Goodness.

Phyllis: I don’t know what kind of passive aggressive behavior that is. But if you’re that stressed, just go downstairs and get a cup of coffee or something. Relieve your tensions that way rather than vandalizing the bathroom!

It’s true. The women’s room is frequently closed for repair because someone flushed something down the toilet.

11:35 AM: Roseanne Barr is trying to help a new lady hook up a second monitor. She is in need of an HDMI cable. So she searched for one, didn’t find one, and told her boss she needed to order one. Her boss, the Director of IT gave her a cable that is definitely not an HDMI.

12:41 PM: Phyllis and Carson Kressley were talking about a local restaurant chain closing. She saw it on Facebook…

Phyllis: Since we’re on the subject of social media… Isn’t Kanye west the singer who was in financial trouble?

Carson Kressley: I don’t think so.

Phyllis: Wasn’t he on the verge of bankruptcy? I’m just thinking the heist is way to get $10 million in his pocket.

Carson Kressley: When I first heard the news, I thought maybe it was a social media stunt.

Phyllis: I don’t think there’s any reason to carry around 10 million.

Carson Kressley: Or you put it in a vault

Phyllis: It’s just a way for him to get the money back. They take the diamond, but he gets all the insurance money. I can see the investigator… “Where was your security guard who supposedly was the best in the business?”

Carson Kressley: Well, he was with the other Kardashians. She probably thought “I’m alone. In this exclusive celebrity hotel. I’ll be fine.”

Phyllis: So you’re saying my insurance fraud theory is wrong?

Carson Kressley: Well… You never know.

Phyllis doesn’t trust Kanye West as far as she can throw him. Can’t say I blame her.



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