Day #666

8:12 AM: I was in the kitchen, waiting for a line of women to finish washing their coffee cups in the sink so I could get some ice and water to quench my thirst. When there were two women left in the kitchen, they started talking…

Woman #1: Did you watch any of the debate?

Woman #2: No. I had better things to do with my time.

Woman #1: I forced myself to watch about 20 minutes of it. And I was just looking at it like, ‘Really??’

Woman #2: No. I couldn’t. I’m just trying to wake up from this nightmare. You’ve got that disgusting, liar, dog…[looks at me and sees I’m in the room]… poop HILLARY CLINTON… and Donald Trump.

Woman #1: You know, in the part I watched, he said he didn’t pay any Federal taxes and that was a good thing. Can you believe that?

Woman #2: Ugh. I just can’t. Hillary Clinton is just so… Ugh. No. It just disgusts me. Who even voted for either of them?

Today marks 666 days in my hell. How fitting.

8:39 AM: Phyllis is having computer troubles. She actually made a good joke. “Should I just bang on it until it works the way Gordon Ramsay does?” But then she said “I don’t know. I’m just going to unplug it. That’s my go-to solution.” Yeah, Phyllis. I hear computers really thrive when they just suddenly lose power and need to restart.

9:38 AM: Mrs. O’Leary had a less-than-exciting call with her aunt, but it presented an interesting look into her psyche…

If you’re asking if this is going to change my position on going to mass in honor of Mother, if she’s not going to be there, I might consider going. I just can’t be around her. I can’t do it…

You know, I called that church group to ask them to pick up the furniture. They won’t  take the bed or bedding from Mom’s room. Or the entertainment center. They don’t take any large appliances, which I said is a good thing because we don’t have any to give. They don’t take exercise equipment, which is fine because we don’t have any of that either. But they’ll take the couch and some of the other stuff…

I’m okay. I’m a little tired. I did a little cleaning at Mom’s on Sunday. I washed the kitchen floor and cleaned the counters. Stuff like that…

Have a super fabulous day. Okay, see ya.

Why is she listing off the things that this organization won’t take as a donation if they don’t even have any? “They won’t take any honey baked hams, which is great because we don’t have any in the freezer… Good thing they don’t take litters of kittens because we don’t have any of those either.” Also,  the visual of Mrs. O’Leary scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth is a thing of beauty.

10:45 AM: Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin tried logging on to one of our subscription services, but couldn’t because someone else on the team was logged in. He sent an email to me and Grace. Here’s the exchange…

Phil Dunphy’s Lame Cousin: Are either of you signed in right now. I need to use it.

Me: I am not.

Grace: I used that account this morning. Should be logged out but I’ll look.

Grace [1 minute later in a separate email]: I logged in, then logged out again.

Why not just reply to the email once and say you’re logged out? If her husband asks “Are you hungry?” does she say “Hold on, let me check,” wait minute and then say “Yeah, I could go for some dinner!”





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s