Day #665

8:21 AM: Roseanne Barr baked some mini cakes for us. She used her new baking pan she got as a birthday gift from Wanda Sykes last week. The cakes are in “cute little summer shapes. You’ve got your flip-flops, the sunglasses, an ice cream cone…” Didn’t have the heart to tell her the sunglasses look like a pair of boobs in a bikini.


9:13 AM: Grace just stood up and called my name. I said “Yes?” and she said “Oh! Sorry, I meant Carson Kressley. Sorry! Totally understand. You can’t be expected to know your teammates’ names after only 18 months of working with them.


9:14 AM: I just got an email…

From: Roseanne Barr

To: Me

Subject: Did

She just call you Carson Kressley’s name?

Yes. Yes she did. Roseanne Barr then rushed over to her friend across the office, giggling the whole time.


10:34 AM: Phyllis came across an organization that is opposed to wireless signals. They are apparently opposed to wireless in schools, wireless power meters and cell phone signals. Among the evidence on their website is that “wireless signals lead to carpal tunnel syndrome.” Phyllis said “Carpal tunnel because of Wi-Fi? Hmmm… Maybe it’s because of all that texting!


12:35 PM: Mrs. O’Leary scooted her chair over to Roseanne Barr’s cubicle. When she does this, she bends her torso down so she’s more aerodynamic, grabs on to the armrests of her chair, and uses her skinny little legs to power her down the aisle.


12:37 PM: After discussing Mrs. O’Leary’s computer proplem, Roseanne Barr stood up and said “Let’s go see what it is on your computer.” So Mrs. O’Leary began scooting herself backwards in her chair as Roseanne Barr followed along on foot.

Also, Mrs. O’Leary has made up her own name for Roseanne Barr. I once asked Roseanne Barr “Is that even your name, or does she call you that?” and she said “That’s not my name. No one has ever called me that name in my life, so just ignore her.”


2:40 PM: Mrs. O’Leary has called around the different members of her family to inform them of a restaurant in her neighborhood that caught fire. She doesn’t seem to have any relation to the restaurant and “their food was so-so,” but it’s had an effect on her and she’s been leaving voicemails, “Just wanted to let you know that restaurant caught on fire. I heard it from my niece. I haven’t seen the fire, but it seems like it was pretty big one. You can probably find out about it online.” She also informed Roseanne Barr of the fire. Roseanne Barr seemed to be confused as to why she was being delivered this news.

 

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